Badass
by lizzierae
Summary: Noah Puckerman was a badass. So why could he never win over Quinn Fabray? Because she was always cooler than him.  Songfic-ish of "Cooler Than Me" by Mike Posner, if you didn't get that.


_I don't own anything. And that is my awesome disclaimer._

…

Noah Puckerman was a badass. Everyone knew it! He was too cool for school (though he showed up anyway). He beat people up. He tossed kids into dumpsters. He slushied nearly every student (and even a few teachers, hence his badass-ness) in William McKinley High School at least twice. He didn't do homework. He slept during class. He hit on nearly every girl. He played football. Let's face the facts, he was the very definition of _badass_. And everyone knows girls love bad boys, right? Wrong. There was one girl who would never be Puck's—Quinn Fabray.

_If I could write you a song to make you fall in love,_

_I would already have you up under my arm._

_I used up all of my tricks, I hope that you like this,_

_but you probably won't, you think you're cooler than me._

_You got designer shades, just to hide your face and_

_you wear them around like you're cooler than me._

_And you never say "hey" or remember my name,_

_and it's probably 'cause you think you're cooler than me._

_You got you high brow switch in your walk,_

_and you don't even look when you pass by._

_But you don't know the way that you look,_

_when your steps make that much noise—shh._

He did everything he could. He tried to impress her with all the usual ways he impressed girls. How hard could it be? Quinn was just another prissy girl he happened to go to school with—she was no different. She put her bug-eyed sunglasses (which Puck thought looked completely stupid on everyone _but_ her for some reason) over her big, brown eyes and walked around like she _owned_ the high school.

And the blonde girl with the purity ring and Cheerios uniform became Puck's next challenge just like that.

Puck went up to Quinn at school freshman year. He casually and coolly leaned up against the locker next to her's, his best "badass" face plastered on, and ready to lie his ass off. That's what he did best, after all.

She stood there with her posy of bossy cheerleaders. (If Puck were being honest, he'd say they were bitches. But they were hott and pretty sleazy, and honesty just wasn't Puck's thing, so he was okay with them.) The girl stared at him a second, rolled her chocolate eyes, and walked off.

She did _not_ just ignore him.

_I got you all figured out._

_You need everyone's eyes just to feel seen._

_Behind your make-up, nobody knows who you even are;_

_who do you think that you are?_

_'Cause it sure seems, you got no doubt._

_But we all see you got your head in the clouds._

The summer before sophomore year, Puck totally had this. Yeah, his best friend was dating Quinn at the time; but what Finn Hudson didn't know wouldn't hurt him, right? And Finn didn't know _a lot_. So _duh_ Puck banged his best friend's girlfriend. (And besides, Finn and Quinn...that's just stupid. Your name just shouldn't rhyme with your boyfriend/girlfriend's name.)

But then Quinn got pregnant and lied about the baby's father. She told Finn _he_ was the father, which Finn obviously believed because, again, he's not the brightest crayon in the box of 64 Crayola's.

Okay. Cool. Puck didn't have to take care of that baby... Who was he kidding—he _still_ didn't have the girl!

Even when Finn found out the truth, Puck still didn't have Quinn. Yeah, he did for like 5 seconds, but that wasn't enough for him! One night with the girl being drunk on wine coolers wasn't enough anymore. He _had_ to have Quinn. She _was_ carrying his baby, after all.

But Noah Puckerman doesn't settle for _just one girl_. That's what pansies do. And he wasn't a pansy. He was a man. A _badass_ man. So, yeah, time passed, and Quinn got pissed at him, gave birth to their daughter, cried _a lot _because she wanted to be popular, and still wouldn't give him another chance. What a bunch of bull...

_If I could write you a song to make you fall in love,_

_I would already have you up under my arm._

_I used up all of my tricks, I hope that you like this,_

_but you probably won't, you think you're cooler than me._

_You got designer shades, just to hide your face and_

_you wear them around like you're cooler than me._

_And you never say "hey" or remember my name,_

_and it's probably 'cause you think you're cooler than me._

The next year entered, and Puck was determined to make this his year with Quinn. They were both in the glee club now, she was off the Cheerios, and he was still a badass. What else _was _there? There was no stopping him from finally getting the girl!

Until Sam Evans came along.

_Shit._


End file.
